Johanna is 43 years old and mother of two children whom she loves very much. However, had she known what her life as a mother would be like, she would not have had children. Protocol by Katharin Hoch

I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be a happy mother because I’ve never felt anything like motherhood. I don’t find fulfillment in being a mother. I would even say: If I had known what my life with children would be like, I would not have become a mother. I used to be ashamed of such thoughts and had serious doubts about myself and my cordiality. I was wondering if I’m actually normal. I now know that many mothers feel this way. And that this feeling has nothing to do with being a bad person. I love my children. They are great. But I just don’t like being a mother.