In Russia, a competition in patriotic absurdities seems to have broken out. A plastic surgeon from Moscow is now launching breast implants for patriots.

The patriotism craze in Russia is growing stranger and stranger. A Moscow plastic surgeon has now come up with something that would certainly have earned a place on the podium of absurdities. He suggests “patriotic breast implants” to his clients. The “exclusive models” are either decorated with the Russian tricolor or in “classic army camouflage”.

“Real patriots can choose the model that is closer to their hearts,” advertises Evgeny Dobreykin in a video on his social networks. “In a direct and figurative sense. A stylish choice for those who love their country and want more than a sticker on their car or a tattoo on their shoulder.”

The plastic surgeon assures that the “experimental implant models” have a unique coating that is “absolutely safe” and has passed all the necessary tests.

“Rosgrudj”, he calls his creation. A neologism of the Russian terms for Russia and bosom. Russia breasts, so to speak.

“I can’t always carry a flag with me”

“I want to be the most beautiful and fashionable. I want to own something really exclusive. The Rosgrudj implants are exactly what I need,” enthuses a blonde in the spot, which has the same terrible sound quality as American commercials on German TV.

“I can’t always carry a flag with me. Sometimes I can’t even take my ID with me. But Rosgrudj allows me to feel like a patriot even when I’m not wearing clothes,” she proudly adds. “It’s an amazing feeling when you literally have your country’s flag beneath your heart.” The fact that the Moscow doctor’s “exclusive models” are also likely to be implanted over the heart is probably irrelevant given all the pathos.

For Russia and the whole world

Instagam is hailing incredulous comments at the absurdity. Some consider the action a joke, others an ingenious marketing gimmick. But Dobrejkin seems to mean it seriously. “If we get a sufficient number of feedbacks, our technology can be realized all over Russia and later all over the world. This very ‘world’ is trying to ‘cancel’ us right now, but Russian culture cannot be abolished, because we Russians are artists and inventors, all connoisseurs of beauty in the world will follow our path,” he proclaims.

What would the Russian classics, of which Russia is so proud, have said about the “patriotic breast implants”? Perhaps Dobrejkin should have tried them first.

“Love of the fatherland is a wonderful thing. But there is something even more beautiful. That is love of the truth. … Love of the fatherland divides peoples, nourishes national hatred and sometimes envelops the earth in sorrow. Love of the truth spreads the light of knowledge, creates spiritual joys, brings people closer to the divine. The way to heaven does not lead through the fatherland, but through the truth”, wrote the Russian philosopher and political thinker Pyotr Chaadayev.

Also read how the patriotism craze is created by Kremlin propaganda.