The contradictions are the result of a program inhibitor in the brain that can counteract by a program that is flourishing, thanks to the four tools of neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) theory, which considers that each individual has in himself his own resource.

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These tools expand a point of view and give the benefit of hindsight and objectivity, before you decide, with full awareness of all the issues. Mode of employment with Jean-Louis Muller, an expert in management with Cegos and author of the blog The management in all its states (on The Express) (1).

1. Identify the benefits of the situation: “reframing of meaning”

The NLP believes that all behavior has its usefulness. This avoids to live his states of soul or prevarication as a drama and allows for the re-match his mental model negative. It is not to see himself as a victim, but to take the hand on their life by deciding not to suffer.

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Illustration. Ask yourself the key question: “What advantage have I to live on such a tear?” You have a job in the marketing, and you feel guilty to contribute to overselling the product X or Y to the client, or even well-packager detergents that pollute the water and thus the soil. The good side to this, is to realize that you have an ethic, a degree of lucidity, and as this job does not matches you the most. You’re ripe to consider a mobility internal/external, or in another direction, or at least invest in the work.

2. Create a dialogue between his inner voice: “The party of the parties”

“You better…”, “This is great”, “This is not serious…”, “go for it !”. All the world of Jeremy Cricket in the head, at least thirty of them, which intimately contradictory orders. The NLP called it “the canal house”. The idea, like an orchestra conductor, is to hear all of them, with acuity, and to put them in unison.

Illustration. You are a manager and need to pass instructions, but understand the reluctance of the team. Make the empty, and listen to your small voice. The first said that your role is to pass the instructions, name it, “the Chief.” The second says that we can’t force people, name it, “the Wise”, the third murmurs he should listen to the employees, name it, “Robin hood,” etc ..

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Call in the most votes possible, at least five. And then under each one, ask yourself, “when the chief told me that, that is what he wants me well ?” Answers : “to remind me of my role as a manager”. “When the Wise man…”, etc Make the dialogue between them, and then give the on one music : “I’ll talk to my n+1, because the opinion of my collaborators seems to me relevant.”

3. Explore the consequences: “environmental audit”

Before you decide, it is better to imagine themselves in various scenarios over the long term and assess all the impacts to come. NLP is interested in the global environment of the person, in all its aspects, material, joint, family, relationships, health, transport, etc, It also calls this “bridge to the future”.

Illustration. You hesitate to accept a promotion, dig the two possible options. 1/ The status quo. You won’t be starting in the green to 300 miles away in metropolis. Note on a paper, your state of mind as it will in a year : “the x September 2019 : do I Have remorse ? That brought me out of the situation ? The benefits ? The disadvantages ?”. Do not omit any item. 2/geographical mobility. Do the same, “the x September 2019… Benefits ? Disadvantages ? 3/ Compare the two results, and look at which side tilts the balance.

4. From: “as if”

The NLP appeals to the naive child that is in us, in order to disorient its difficulty in a different universe than hers, or in the skin of another character.

Illustration. In the Face of a torn, three techniques are possible 1/ The swapping of roles. You are evil with this new detergent a pollutant. Give up the habit of “marketer” and adopt that of an “expert ès contradiction” you splitting. Therefore, what advice would you give to a marketer? 2/ The permutation information. That what I would come up with an article, a book, a radio show, which will deal with precisely the hesitation, of the case of conscience ? What are the possible solutions ? 3/ The swap magic. That you would suggest the martians, or other creatures omniscientes, if they came to your rescue ?

Let come the ideas. At each permutation, write down five boards. Unexpected insights emerge, they can boost your reflection.

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(1) Jean-Louis Muller is an expert on strategic management at Missions-Cadres, the author of Be stepping on the feet, it is finished ! (2017, Youth), and director of practical guides Cegos in ESF editor such as NLP with the words of all the days (2015), The systemic with the words of all the days: change smoothly (2009).